The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
