So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
