ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
