mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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