just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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