"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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