saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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