Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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