I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
