His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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