This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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