I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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