when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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