I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
