Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
