It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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