I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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