Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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