I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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