I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
