yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I could fuck to npr.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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