sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize