She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
