What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
