Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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