I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
