The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize