Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
