you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
