I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
