My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
