hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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