My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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