Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
