is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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