why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
