no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
