Christians are straight up FREAKS
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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