My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize