I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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