Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my shit smells like andre
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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