So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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