I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
