nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
