the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize