so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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