I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
