with your own penis?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
