How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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