Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
