i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
