the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
