I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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