My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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