he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize