I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
