Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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