I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
