some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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