Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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