If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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