I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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