i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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