dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
